She signaled steaming sentiments
I imagined implicated indications
She said she should share some secrets
I initiated indecisive insecurities.
I inquired innocence in intricacy
She stood still sophisticatedly
I indulged intimately in it
She sanctioned same sentiments.
If I influenced indecent intentions
Should she share scorching sensation?
Improperly I imploded, in .. indecision
So she swallowed several streaming sins.
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This is an unedited 'experimental' post. If anyone has any correction to offer or want to add anything further is most welcome. I'm really looking for your feedback.
It was an invitation that was signaled as a feel
I thought about the emotions, to me it was real
I tried to tie and enter the paradise of her beauty
my actions were not sinister, but I felt I did administer
few touch, words and sight..a bit too much for consumption
I felt..she did not think..I then had to let her off the link
I really like the word play – very clever – a very clever way of describing someone not knowing how to proceed in regards getting to ‘know’ someone else.
I like the way you play with words here. Very very interesting and fun to read. But two last lines, well, the one before the last really, something’s off there and i cant put a finger on it as to why.
Is it the sudden change in the flow or the word ‘improperly’? I hated when it had to fall flat like this but had to do it ’cause I love the last line. *It’s a fiction though* 😀
ummm.. “Improperly I imploded, in.. indecision” will it work if I put a comma after imploded and a little pause after ‘in’ or “Improperly I imploded immensely” will be better? What you think?
There is always an underlined sensuality to your posts, I like the way you subtly weave in giving the reader just a glimpse and leaving the rest to their imagination.
Your style is very unique compared to other people I’ve read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll
just book mark this blog.
Nice picture
Thank you. What you think about the poem? 🙂
It is difficult to understand..I need to read it again before I add my comment.
Alright 🙂
It was an invitation that was signaled as a feel
I thought about the emotions, to me it was real
I tried to tie and enter the paradise of her beauty
my actions were not sinister, but I felt I did administer
few touch, words and sight..a bit too much for consumption
I felt..she did not think..I then had to let her off the link
Perfect.. you decoded it beautifully. 🙂
thank you..I finally understood 🙂
🙂 you’re welcome and thank you for sharing your poem. 🙂
🙂
Hi..got a bunch of wards for you.
http://kalabalu.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/yaayyy-i-love-awards/
I love it. The pattern is beautiful, the encoded message gets the imagination flowing. I also love the poem by kalabalu. 🙂
Thank you very much for reading and sharing your feedback. Appreciated!!
I really like the word play – very clever – a very clever way of describing someone not knowing how to proceed in regards getting to ‘know’ someone else.
It take guts to make that move. Isn’t it? 🙂
I like this. Especially that last line.
(smiles) thank you!!
I like the way you play with words here. Very very interesting and fun to read. But two last lines, well, the one before the last really, something’s off there and i cant put a finger on it as to why.
Is it the sudden change in the flow or the word ‘improperly’? I hated when it had to fall flat like this but had to do it ’cause I love the last line. *It’s a fiction though* 😀
I think its the “in indecision” that doesnt roll off my tongue as smoothly 🙂
Fiction, huh.
ummm.. “Improperly I imploded, in.. indecision” will it work if I put a comma after imploded and a little pause after ‘in’ or “Improperly I imploded immensely” will be better? What you think?
yes ‘a fiction’ Lol 😉
Yes, comma and pause! Because i like “indecision”, you shouldnt change it.
Changes implemented. Thank you!!! 🙂
There is always an underlined sensuality to your posts, I like the way you subtly weave in giving the reader just a glimpse and leaving the rest to their imagination.
Thank you if you think so 🙂
Your style is very unique compared to other people I’ve read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll
just book mark this blog.
Your feedback is appreciated. Thank you!