Till the last breath

I always become so restless whenever my mind drags me towards the thoughts of the time when I am old, old enough to be retired from job, old enough to not to be able to flirt anymore, old enough when I and my wife stops feeling the need of sex, old enough when kids become busy in their lives and families. I often talk to my friends showing my concerns for the time I worry about but they don’t understand. They just ignore saying that there are so many years in between and I should rather be worried about the present only. But how can I just stop thinking when everything is so related. I don’t want myself in the later days of my life being restless without having anything exciting to do. I want my life always to be filled with excitement, adventure and passion. No matter how rich I be, how many achievements I would make, nothing can just fill the hollow space which may become an endless part until I die and I can not explain the feeling when I think of the life after death, will I have to live all alone once I am dead? Well, that is a different subject which I really really don’t wanna talk about right now. If I do, I won’t be able to sleep thereafter.

 

Then I think as to how I can prevent my life from being dull and lonely, One is keeping the best friends together and one passion alive. I think of living in a neighborhood where all my best friends are living nearby (a beach location will be best choice), where we go fishing, drink beer on beach all day, talk about our past lives, listen music and have fun.

 

Today is the time when I can work towards achieving these two most important things and every passing day makes me nervous. I have few really good friends today but I am not sure if we’ll remain together always, maybe I find few more good friends after a couple of years but I am so insecure, I don’t want to lose any of my buddies. Life would be nothing without them. So I am on a journey to collect as many best buddies I can and try to keep them together through all the odds. How can anyone imagine their lives without friends? I can’t.

 

And while talking about my passion, I don’t get nervous because I know it will never let me down. It’s music. I can not imagine breathing without it; it always flows in my body with blood. Interesting and exciting part is that I have decided to get more involved into it and pursue my career in music (which I can not be sure of but I’ll never ever give up). It has been only 18 months since I started writing poetry cum lyrics and soon I am going to join guitar classes and then I’ll start composing songs. It doesn’t matter if I become the part of music industry or not, I am just so excited about making songs for people around me – family and friends. I am very sure that this passion will never ever fade.

 

Aren’t these the necessary elements to have a peaceful, exciting and busy life till the death? If by any chance I could achieve a very small portion of it before the Time, I’ll be the happiest soul, no doubt.

 

What do you say?

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7 Comments

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  1. I say, ROCK IT DUDE!!! Long way to go!!!
    You wrote it with the pen of your heart and I read it with the eyes of my heart. It is a direct contact and I am loving it enough to read it again! Cheers!
    -Naima.

  2. I married when I was 24…at 29 I am a father of two beautiful daughters..they are like the three planets and I am the moon which keeps revolving around them…getting old is so overwhelming when you are watching your love grow everyday !

  3. lovely Neeraj! a thought so intense and so genuine.. wish you have all the passions alive with you till the end and the urge to live in those passions..

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